Musings on Doing and Being this Lent

I'm irked by how easy it is to curate our public image these days. Whereas an iPhone commercial claims that we can upload the whole of human experience, what we really do is pick and choose which facets of our lives to trumpet out to whoever will listen. We do things in order that we might later talk about it, digitally collecting a trophy case of accomplishments and adventures.

I'm irked because I see the same desire come across in the words I write, the pictures I share, the ways I fill my days. At the end of the day I find solace in what I have done rather than who I have been. Did I cook well, clean well, play well, etc. I turn to these action verbs to define and shape my days and ultimately myself.

What if I focused instead on the stative verbs? I am a mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, teacher. More importantly, I am loved and beloved, forgiven and redeemed. Let's face it, some things need to get done in a day. I'm talking to you pile of dishes, runny noses and dirty diapers. But when I stake my worth on what I do rather than what is already done, the doing never ends, and the days blur into empty exhaustion.

Maybe that is why I like Lent so much. We're invited to sit inside the messy house that is our soul, realizing that we can't do anything about it. Still in that mess we can see the face of Him who gives us the title of beloved child - a title won at a great cost. Then and only then will our actions flow from who we are rather than what we've done.

So I hope that this blog will become a quieter, less-trumpeted space where I can document our family life, not in order to look back years from now at all we've done but rather to evoke memories that run deep with love, forgiveness, and grace.

Twenty Months

I stopped posting monthly updates of Miriam eight months ago when she turned one. It's not that she had stopped growing and changing at rapid pace each month. Mostly I didn't want the pressure to write at that exact time each month, hoping the lack of a set schedule would make me want to write more. Well, the evidence clearly points otherwise. But excuses aside, just look at this twenty-month-old, and all will be forgiven.

Sweet Miriam, born on the 20th and now twenty months old. Just hours after this picture was taken, I came down with the flu and a sinus infection, leaving me bedridden for six days. I haven't been so sick in years. If there is anything worse than having the flu, it's having the flu while trying to keep track of a toddler full of zest for life. Thankfully Zach is able to work from home a bit, and another friend swooped in and took her for a day. It's difficult to admit that I've come to the end of myself, of my ability to do anything, but I'm learning that is something I need to admit more readily, sick or not. This parenting thing just like life isn't meant to be done alone, and thank goodness I don't have to.

It's not all bad when mama isn't making the calls. Just check out the Ethiopian spread that Zach convinced Miriam to consume while I was still on a ginger ale only diet. This girl wants to be just like daddy and constantly reminds us that she wears blue jeans and puffy coats just like daddy.

Here's to more blogging in 2013 if only to help us remember our crazy, wonderful life as it passes before our eyes. 

Holding on to Autumn

What once were monthly updates on our family life (ok, mostly Miriam) have become more seasonal, and as I looked out our window at winter's first flakes of snow, I realized that I had better commemorate our autumn in some way before it becomes a distant memory.

Needless to say, autumn in New England does not disappoint. We got out and enjoyed it all this year - the fair, the pumpkin patch and apple farm, parks galore and even some vineyards in upstate New York - in an effort to pack it all in before the weather turns bad.

Awed by the animals at the fair

Miriam has three speeds these days, running, sleeping, and eating. She loves the usual toddler things like our neighborhood park, playing with her baby doll, and excitedly pointing at any dog within sight, but she has also picked up her own quirky pastimes like begging to smell all our spices, reading through cookbooks like picture books, and calling out her favorite storybook characters' names while trying to fall asleep.

The beginning of the school year brought more routine in our lives as I began to teach French once a week at a local public elementary school. The opportunity sort of fell into my hands, and it has been oh so nice to flex my brain in new ways.

About a month ago, Zach came home with the good news that he had been promoted to project manager on the maternal health grant that he has been working on. The promotion was great affirmation from Harvard that they'd like to keep him around for a while, and the fact that it came on the exact same day that we got a rather large bill for some car work that the previous owner 'forgot' to mention was more than a little nice.

Her favorite spot to watch for passing trucks and dogs 

 Working on the Curious George O'Lantern

Dressing up as an African mama (just like her doll from Aunt Kristiana) for Halloween

Miriam has become quite the little chatterbox at home, and watching her understanding of language unfold has been incredible. The video below shows her reading one of her favorite books with her typical enthusiasm.

Summer in the City

We did it. We moved out to the suburbs and bought a car. Really, we're only just across the Charles River in Watertown, Massachusetts, but it feels worlds different from the busy hub that we left. I do love urban living, but it was time for Miriam to have a yard, not to mention her own room! I'll post pictures soon when we're a little bit more put together.

For now, here's a look at Miriam's summer in the city before the big  move, equipped with everything to enjoy the New England heat.

Flip flops - thanks to Aunt Kristiana's trip to Brazil

Sun hat - thanks to grandma's birthday visit

Linen shorts - thanks to my first attempts at sewing clothes

Time in the pool - thanks to the best daddy who doesn't mind excessive, gleeful splashing

Sweet summer pjs - thanks to Hee Do's mom in Korea who has never even met this little one

Pig tails! - thanks to those tiny wisps of hair that keep growing

Our favorite park - thanks to Boston and Brookline for providing fun fountains to keep cool

Needless to say, it's been a memorable summer.

Independence Week

Walking in Harvard Yard like a pro

Someone recently told me that her daughter first walked on July 4th, making it her 'independence day'. Miriam spent this past Independence Day watching all the other kids run around at the barbeque we went to and must have picked up on the hint. Three days later, after not much previous interest, she just went for it.

Here she is in her walking debut. (Just don't mind the mess in our apartment. We're getting ready to move!...but more on that later).

Celebration Season

Late spring is a good time to be born. It's also a good time to have a baby. We've had two solid months of lots of celebration, birthdays and otherwise.

I missed mother's day last year by less than a week. Of course I had constant reminders that I was a mother at that point. They came in the form of kicks to the ribs and heartburn, but that could never compare to having Miriam here in person. I never could have guessed all that this first year of motherhood has been - so much laughter and tears and learning. We celebrated with a delicious meal on the sunny patio of a Cambridge cafe that we'd been eyeing for some time.

The pinnacle of celebration came the following Sunday on Miriam's first birthday. One of my friends here with older children told me, "You just have to make it through the first year." At that point, Miriam was four months old, and the all-important first birthday seemed so far away. And here we are now with a vivacious one year old that loves life almost as much as we love her. We celebrated with an open house at our place where our friends could drop by, and of course there was plenty of family on hand to love on her. It was also my mom's birthday that week, and she was here to add to the celebration.

She was quite bewildered as to why everyone was singing to her, 

not to mention the flaming food near her face.

The two birthday girls

At church on her actual birthday

A monkey cake for our monkey

The birthday spread with a timeline of photos of her

My birthday is just two weeks and two days after Miriam's. Zach gave me a break from the kitchen and made a delicious dinner for us complete with carrot cake. He also gave me time in the kitchen for my birthday - time, that is, in a restaurant kitchen with a local chef who grew up in the south of France. I spent the Saturday following my birthday along with a small group of people learning how to make specialty dishes for summer from the southwest of France. It was a completely new experience and made me miss all the delicious food that we readily had available in France. 

And now here we are on the eve of father's day, and it seems fitting to celebrate Zach after all these other celebrations. Through all the ups and downs of the first year of parenting and the second year of marriage, he has been so solid in his patience, reason, and love. Miriam and I are so lucky to have him in our lives!

Thus wraps up my (usually tardy) monthly updates of Miriam's first year. I mentioned to a couple people that I would probably wrap up the blog with this post as it doesn't quite top the ever-growing to-do list. However, their response convinced me that this is indeed worth doing occasionally and appreciated by others. Hopefully this will be a place where our friends and family far and wide can get a glimpse of what we're up to, and if you're only coming in search of an inordinate amount of cute photos of Miriam, there will be plenty of that as well.

Eleven (and a half) Months

So we're running a little behind on this whole 'monthly update' thing. Miriam is now eleven and a half months, and time just keeps flying. April was packed with visits from friends, two weekend trips away, and lots of time in the spring sunshine (which seems to have once again left Boston for the time being).

Miriam is as full of life as ever. Her favorite activities these days are dancing, waving, and creating disorder out of order. Out of nowhere one day she started dancing to music, swaying back and forth like a baby metronome. These days she will go over to the computer (the source of Pandora and all other musical wonders) and begin dancing - her way of saying 'Please won't you turn the music back on?' Oh and the waving. Anything and everything deserves a wave these days from inanimate objects to people walking by, but the waves are mostly directed at pictures of herself on the walls and mirrors. Who is that cute baby always looking back anyways?

We spent a nice, quiet Easter with Charlotte at our church followed by lots of delicious food at our place. Note her sweet Easter dress and first pair of real shoes! She is so ready to walk but just doesn't know it's a possibility yet.

The following weekend our friend Karen came out for a visit during the Boston Marathon. Temperatures that weekend were at record highs, and we enjoyed time out in the sun. As you can see, Miriam quickly bonded with her.

Our church had a women's retreat in western Massachusetts toward the end of April, and Zach graciously agreed to watch Miriam on his own that weekend. It was so nice to get out of the city, meet some new friends, and not have to worry about making the next meal or cleaning up the next mess. It was good to come home and find that they had such fun daddy-daughter time together. 

The next weekend Miriam and I were off to Jackson, Mississippi to watch Alli graduate from college. Plane rides are not meant for children who cannot sit still, but it was well worth it to see family and get a taste of where Alli has been the past four years. It was a fast but wonderful trip filled with outdoor dinners, poolside chats, and the sweet smell of magnolia trees. 

In other news we have officially commenced urban baby training here.  Phase one: learning to push your own groceries home in a cart. As you can see, she is becoming quite good. We'll have to move on to phase two soon: toting her baby doll around in a front-pack carrier.